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Hi my name is Brenda Anderson, I am from northern Wisconsin. I was diagnosed with SLE eight years ago. This is a poem I wrote while I was having a major Lupus flare up. I just want others to feel the desperation this illness makes us feel. Thanks
“Lupus” The Monster In Me By Brenda Anderson
I wake every morning Feeling achy and grim Inflammation and soreness In every limb
I struggle to get Myself out of bed I try to be thankful That I am not dead
Although sometimes I wish it were true This agony and pain I wouldn’t have to go through
To others I look Like nothing is wrong Inside my heart I cry A gruesome song
I try not to think about How awful I feel But I wonder each day How I am going to deal
With this pain and suffering That is so intense I feel like I’m backed up Against a barbwire fence
How will I manage How will I cope Doctors just keep prescribing More and more dope
I’ve learned to deal With the physical pain But now this monster Is affecting my brain
Sometimes I feel I’m falling further behind Sometime I feel I am losing my mind
The things I once did Have no meaning any more All the fun and laughter Has gone out the door.
Day by day I manage to do my job But for the rest of the night I’m rather a snob
I don’t mean to be This person filled with rage It’s like I’m stuck, Can’t get out of this cage
Each day comes something A symptom, a clue I don’t think there is anything any doctor do
I don’t have a life This disease is in control It holds me deep within This lonesome dark hole
Who have I become What’s happened to me Who is this monster That I try so hard not to be
Perhaps some day They’ll find a solution Perhaps it will have been caused By our world’s pollution
Whatever it is Whatever it may be I truly don’t like what It’s done to me
My concentration is gone My thinking has went My memory is lost My patience spent
Will there ever be a time I feel no pain? Will I finally see sunshine After all this miserable rain
Donate to Lupus Research to help many more than just me Help find a cure For this monster that be.
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