Joint and/or muscle pain can
make sex painful or uncomfortable.
Fatigue can make sex just not
possible.
Depression and chronic pain can
reduce sex drive.
Medications used to treat Lupus
can cause reduced libido.
Medications used to treat Lupus
can cause vaginal dryness.
Medications used to treat Lupus
can cause erectile dysfunction.
Lupus and medications can cause
dryness in the mouth and vagina.
Skin rashes can make sex
painful or uncomfortable.
Lupus and medications can cause
many physical changes such as rashes, scars, weight gain or loss,
hair loss, etc. These changes can make a person feel ugly,
uncomfortable, not themselves, insecure, unwanted and more. It
can also make some partners attraction change.
Lupus and the medications used
to treat it can cause hormonal imbalances that effect libido.
Lupus sufferers can sometimes
get ulcers in the mouth or vagina that can cause pain. Lupus
rashes and ulcers are not transmittable to your partner.
Pregnancy should be carefully
planned for, due to increased risk.
more...
Partners can feel insecure,
rejected, and frustrated by the reduced amount of sex.
Partners can feel confused on
when it is and isn't ok to initiate sex.
Lupus sufferers, especially
ones on immunosuppressive drugs, are more susceptible to Herpes and
other sexually transmitted diseases.
Tips
Take advantage of the times
when you are feeling your best.
Try a warm bath or hot tub
before hand to relax your muscles and your mind.
Use lubricant for dryness or
vaginal ulcers.
Monitor hormone levels and if
needed talk to your doctor about supplementation.
Talk to your
doctor/gynecologist about medical solutions to low libido.
Always use protection to
prevent STDs and unplanned pregnancy.
Treating the Lupus and
minimizing flares and pain is always helpful.
Try different positions that
may reduce stress and pain on muscles and joints.
Try cuddling and other ways of
being intimate to substitute when intercourse is not possible.
Try different times of the day.
Talk to your doctor about which
medications you are on that may affect your libido and if it is
possible to switch to something without that effect.
Try gentle massage to relax
your muscles and your mind.
Do not push the issue. If
your partner is in pain, tired or just not in the mood, pushing them
will only make them feel bad, stressed, and that will make it longer
before they are ready. You will end up feeling more frustrated
and you may get into a fight. Instead, offer to rub their feet
or do something that will help them relax and rest so that perhaps
the next time you will be more successful.
Keep trying. It can be
easy to fall into a pattern of just not trying. Without
pushing keep trying.
Partners will have to
understand that things are different when your partner has Lupus and
they should reassure the patient that the relationship is solid even
though there may be changes.
Remind yourselves that this may
not be forever. One never knows what the future holds, a
remission could be right around the corner.
Keep the lines of communication
wide open. Sex can be a difficult topic to discuss, however to
avoid hurt feelings, confusion and frustration, have frank, up front
discussions about all things sexual. Do not let frustration or
insecurity fester.
Building a strong relationship
is very important so that when there are "dry spells" or problems,
you have a good relationship to get you through it.
Partners should reassure the
Lupus sufferer that they are still attractive no matter what.
Consider couples therapy if you
are having trouble communicating or working out your sexual issues.
